Short on Wit

On the topic of wit and sarcasm, I'm a little low on both. I'm the person who laughs nervously at jokes that everyone else gets ("uh, ha, those aristocrats, aren't they a blast?"). I tried out sarcasm, but found it exhausting and alienating and I also briefly dabbled in irony. Unfortunately, irony by its nature is easy to misunderstand, which makes you look either weird or nerdy, such as wearing your former 7-eleven shirt as daytime casual wear. Which I never did, just for the record, but which I witnessed at university. Right now, I'm eating a family size package of real fruit gummies, which might be considered ironic because aside from the fact that they're about as close to real fruit as tennis balls are to apples, and excepting the fact that who's kidding who, it's not families that are eating them; it's overindulgent types like me who down them by the handful, no self-respecting parent would admit to feeding them to their children anyway. If they do, they're probably not their own children, in which case, the real fruits are the so-called families--no offense to any nutritionally-aware homosexuals intended.