Thursday, June 5, 2008

Growing Up Young

My son graduates next week and there has been much discussion as to what he wants to be when he grows up. How is an 18-year-old supposed to decide such things? I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. Wait, did I already grow up? Did I miss it?

Sometimes I still wonder if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I think having said 18-year-old when I was just 18 years old has given me much reason to ponder as of late. How the hell did I have a child at 18? There is no way I can see my son with a child. It makes me feel very sorry for my mom. Sorry, mom. If my child got someone pregnant at his age I think I would beat him. Thanks for not beating me, mom. I mean, really, you shouldn't beat a pregnant woman/girl. But thanks.

Having a son who is ready to "leave the nest" has really made my brain hurt - have I done all the right things? Is he ready? Was I a good mom? Did he do okay having a "teenage" mom? What would my life had been like if I hadn't gotten pregnant? Would I be that famous graphic designer that I wanted to be when I was in grade 12?

I look back at the last 18 years of my life and all these questions, and I think "nope, wouldn't change a damn thing." There is nothing better I could be doing in this world than raising this young, soon-to-be-a man.

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