My son graduates next week and there has been much discussion as to what he wants to be when he grows up. How is an 18-year-old supposed to decide such things? I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. Wait, did I already grow up? Did I miss it?
Sometimes I still wonder if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I think having said 18-year-old when I was just 18 years old has given me much reason to ponder as of late. How the hell did I have a child at 18? There is no way I can see my son with a child. It makes me feel very sorry for my mom. Sorry, mom. If my child got someone pregnant at his age I think I would beat him. Thanks for not beating me, mom. I mean, really, you shouldn't beat a pregnant woman/girl. But thanks.
Having a son who is ready to "leave the nest" has really made my brain hurt - have I done all the right things? Is he ready? Was I a good mom? Did he do okay having a "teenage" mom? What would my life had been like if I hadn't gotten pregnant? Would I be that famous graphic designer that I wanted to be when I was in grade 12?
I look back at the last 18 years of my life and all these questions, and I think "nope, wouldn't change a damn thing." There is nothing better I could be doing in this world than raising this young, soon-to-be-a man.
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