Finding value in these hard times

With a recession looming over us, and food and gas prices spiralling ever upwards, stretching your dollar is once again fashionable. Today, we look at 3 outstanding deals that will help you tame the family budget.

The first comes to us courtesy of Lowe's Home Improvement, which I noticed is now offering free next-day delivery, free haul away and (unbelievable!) free hook-up on most major appliance purchases. Free delivery! ("Oooh, that is good," I said to myself.) Free haul away! ("Good-bye, ugly, noisy almond dishwasher - I will not be forced to lug you into the back of my small hatchback after all") Free hook-up! 

Well, free hook-up. They are now practically paying me for the appliance. (OK, for those of you who think that means casual sex with a stranger, you are both wrong and reading the wrong blog.) Then I noticed the fine print: Free hook-up excludes dishwashers, over-the-range microwaves, gas appliances, cooktops, wall ovens and range hoods. Ooohhhh, I get it. So "hook-up" means "plug-in". Well, who among us hasn't be stumped by what to do with the funny 3 pronged plug coming out of the refrigerator?

The second amazing deal was advertised on TV, the source of most reputable products these days, and the only place where you purchase Suzanne Somers jewellery. I speak, of course, of Scar-Zone, a scar-reducing cream that is now formulated with green tea. There's no mention of what the green tea does; just that it's formulated with green tea. Yes, good-bye to the days where I would wash my pennies down the drain by buying a scar cream and green tea separately. Good-bye messy tea bags and wasted electricity boiling water; hello savings steeped in value. Starting tomorrow I will scar-reduce, hydrate and anti-oxidate all in a simple twice-a-day application.

The last product offers true functionality, an attribute that has been lost in so many of today's products. It's the perfect gift for Mom, Dad, or really almost anyone with an iPod and irritable bowel syndrome. It is, as you have guessed by now, the iPod Stereo Dock and Toilet Paper Holder. I won't bother commenting on it, as most of you have probably already left this page and rushed to Amazon to get your own, but for those of you that haven't (and that can only be because you already own one), I remind you that the Karaoke Microphone is also available. 

Remember, saving is always style.